On Manhunt, you have the option of locking your choice of pictures. After you've talked to a person you like, you unlock your pictures for them, which translates to: "I'd like to meet and give you what's in the locked box." Men use the lock/unlock option in one of two ways, and what they choose to lock reveals a LOT about their personality and outlook toward sexuality. The first type of guy locks pictures of his cock and ass. I'm this type of guy! I'm not going to show you my twig and berries unless I know I want you to, uh, eat my fruit and meat platter. Let's put it this way: There's a dress code at my restaurant, and, if you don't have the look, we don't have a table for you. No booty soup for you! The second type of guy posts a bunch of pictures of his dick from a number of different angles. In many of the pictures, he places his penis next to coke cans, beer bottles, and remote controls. Type 2 is the type of kid who, as a child, loved to compare his penis to things and show it off in public places. All his penis and ass pictures are made available to the public. His locked pictures are of his face. He claims he's into discretion, which is an ironic claim given his propensity to hook up with men in parks, bathrooms, and other public places.

So, I'm online tonight and talking to a gay couple who I've talked to a million times. They clearly don't remember talking to me; they don't recognize my multiple face shots or my distinctive witty banter. Minutes into our conversation, they ask me to unlock my private pictures. I happily agree to their request. Their response to my unlocked photo: "Oh, yes, we remember you now? How's it going?" Apparently, my ass is more memorable than my face. This is an exchange in the life of America's next top bottom.