It may come as a surprise to many of you, but I’m a pretty easy person to date. If I sense even a modest connection, I’ll give a guy an earnest “go” at dating. I’ve gone out on a number of dates over the past couple of months. This new trend’s abnormal, because I spent the last few years off the dating market. My desire to date is, in part, incited by all the positive changes I’ve made in my day-to-day life. I’ve engaged in weight training 5 days a week for over a year. I quit smoking on January 1st of 2007. I eat regularly and have put on 20 pounds. I am, overall, much happier, healthier, and more confident than I’ve ever been. Finding a partner is the one change I’d like to make in my life that’s seemingly out of my direct control.

I hate to sound cliché, but West Hollywood’s a gay man’s dating vortex. Most of the men I’ve fooled around with in this city seem to be more afraid of a relationship than HIV. This isn’t to say that I’ve earnestly put myself out there for a relationship; but it’s difficult to open myself up to the possibility of love and commitment when I get signals that tell me to stop and run away.

If you’re interested in dating me, here are some basic things to avoid:
1. In the early stages of our courtship, avoid telling me that you think other men are attractive.
2. Don’t break scheduled dates, especially in the first few weeks of our affair.
3. Text messaging shouldn’t be our primary means of communication.
4. Set actual dates and times to see me. Don’t just assume I’ll be available when you want to hang out.
5. Don’t ask me out on a date that starts after 9 p.m. That’s a booty call, not a date.
6. Don’t have a boyfriend. I’m not interested in you, 5 years down the line, cheating on me like you’re cheating on him.
7. Don’t turn everything into a joke. You have to be able to engage me on a serious, passionate level. Ask thoughtful questions about my family, friends, art, and job.
8. Don’t assume that my enthusiastic desire to pleasure you means that you get to be a lazy, selfish lover.
9. I don’t recommend Googling my name and then, on our next date, acting as though you have the goods on me.

What should you do? The above list negatively relates to a number of actions and behaviors I enjoy. #8, for example, implies that I want an adventurous, assertive lover who likes to see my body quiver as much as I do his. Here are some other moves you may want to consider trying on me, should you want to keep me interested beyond a week:
1. Be happy to pick up the check.
2. Spoon me! Spoon me!
3. Introduce me to your friends. Make sure the introduction is comfortable and in an atypical setting.
4. Wait to have penetrative sex with me until after the first week, even if I beg for your dick.
5. Suggest taking me to new places. This helps to distinguish your fingerprint from the line of men who have taken me to The Abbey. You should, in fact, have lots of suggestions for where we should go on our dates. Be creative. I’d much rather see a play with you than drink until we’re blue.
6. The first few times you fuck me, we should both be 100% sober.
7. This one will be the counterpart of number 7 on the other list. Have a sense of humor. I also recommend laughing at my jokes, even if you don’t always get them.

Note: I am happy to reciprocate all the things I like done to me.

Wow! Typing all this out has been incredibly cathartic. After playing around with a number of men over the past few months, I’m ready to slow down a bit. This doesn’t mean that I’m ready to jump into a relationship. I simply need to recognize and commit to the things I want and don’t want in a guy.